2003 | Ripsaw
Thank you Duluth! On behalf of Vinnie and the Stardusters
I wish to express thanks and spanks for the wonderful time
we had at your town last weenend for the little Geek Preek
party at your little Pizza Hippie Bar! Vinnie loves to come
up to Duluth to play Potty music for angry drunken hippies.
Last year for the Geek Prom we had such a memorable time we
memorialized the trip in our new single entitled "Come
to Duluth (if you wanna be an unemployed alcoholic)!"
This year the Geek Preek Party was no less exciting. First
we stopped in "Anytown" on the way up from the Twin
Cities for our drummer to try calling a 16-year-old girl he
met on the Internet to see if she would like to spend the
night with us at the show and then later at the hotel. While
there, we ate at the Taste of Mexico. What a great idea that
was! The "taste" I believe they were referring to
is the taste left in your ass after crapping your guts out
from eating that fucker’s so called "spicy beef."
When we got to the hotel that the Geeks provide for us each
time we come up to play we were soon joined by Starfire in
his pajamas carrying beer. I know many of you Duluthians know
what fun Starfire can be in a hotel in his pajamas with beer,
and let’s just say we really got off to a great start
for our show.
We headed down to the Angry Hippie Bar and Pizzeria to set
up the equipment and were shortly thereafter set upon by what
can only be described as a renegade band of drunken Orcs.
But not before the owner came out to shake hands and pass
out a phat handful of free drink tickets. You have to respect
a man who owns and operates a hip hippie restaurant and still
gets back behind the line and makes the pizza himself. This
fact did garner the man an entire chorus in our new Duluth
Then we met one woman describing herself and a wild and crazy
lawyer and seemed tame enough at first. She agreed to come
back to see the band after "a show" she said she
needed to put on. Unfortunately later, after watching our
entire set — which included references to drunken Duluth
bitches getting pitched over the bridge on the way back from
Superior, fucking in the ass, and "getting the spicy
beef out," she stayed after the show to lambaste the
lead singer. Apparently the Drunken Wild Lawyer's "show"
was actually a date which dumped her midway through for a
much younger woman and she was all ready to take it out on
me, saying "I know music! I follow music! Duluth is the
next Seattle! I am a 34-year-old woman! (She is actually 36).
I am so dissapointed! You don't get it do you! You just don't
get it because you live in the Cities!"
We were lucky enough to enjoy the hospitality of a man describing
himself as a professor whose cute motto seemed to be "don't
know no better, don't know no worse!" He soon had each
band member satisfied with beer, alcohol and coffee, not to
mention conversation to rival the greatest conversations of
all time. He later proved himself a selfless and caring man
as well when he learned that an Angry Hippie had accused me
of stealing her $20 check of a table in the back. He pulled
out a twenty of his own and tried to give it to the dreadlocked
young thing to make up in some part for the restaurant’s
loss at the hand of a thief. Well, as you can imagine she
was unable to accept his generosity as the loss was really
not hers personally but that of her employer. Oh wait, actually
she did pocket the twenty, but still blamed me for the theft!
I say she should have been thanking whoever stole the check
seeing as how she actually ended up pocketing a free twenty
out of the deal! Oh well, karma is as hippie does, like my
mama always used to say.
Then came the actual show. We rocked hard and then stopped
abruptly on and off for almost two hours. The dance floor
was covered by people who were trying to dance but unfortunately
couldn't due to this abrupt ending problem we were having,
but they got pretty into it in the middle of the songs! Starfire
was out there dancing and I do believe he showed us his ass
two times. Which was a 100 percent increase from the last
show we played when he went running by to show us his ass
only once while we played.
The rest of the night was a blur, with the Angry Hippie Waitress
With a Fresh Twenty in Her Pocket, the Wild Drunken Lawyer,
the Professor and Mary Ann. Sadly the city of Duluth could
not even muster one woman for the drummer to take care of.
The next day we stopped at Anal Canal Park to see if our song
was actually true and were excited to see the girlfriend of
one of the local cool guys selling "Gay Fish." She
had great stories to tell of the fun that was had at the show,
including being kissed by a girl and actually kissing back
for a few moments. We convinced her to convince her beau,
Shaky Ray, that she actually is a lesbian, but we still don't
know what happened with that! Hopefully she made it back from
Superior, if you know what I mean!
Well, thanks again Duluth! We had a great time once again!
Moon is up over Duluth, we will return!
P.S. The posting was right, the Old Country Buffet really
does take a back seat to Indian Palace! We love that place.
Beats spicy beef any day.